Kenya: Chapter 3 'The Day that Changed my Life'

I got to preach 5 times while I was in Kenya. I shared my testimony in chapel both at the town campus and the main campus of ANU, I did a Bible study one morning for the ANU maintenance team, I preached at Christian Union one night, and Flora asked me to bring the morning sermon while we were at the New Scent Center (which you will hear more about later). While each of these preaching experiences brought me joy, Jesus chose to rock my world in an unexpected way… through a ministry that terrifies me: worship ministries. I first felt a calling toward a life of ministry when I was 8 years old (affirmed at age 12). I feel called into almost every area: children, youth, senior pastor, homeless ministry, human trafficking, creation care, college ministries, the elderly and disabled … but the one area I have ALWAYS known to avoid is worship ministries. Don’t get me wrong - the worship set of a service is almost always my favorite part, but my talents and passions do not lie there. So as we sat with Pastor Shaun at ANU delegating tasks for Holiness Week, I found myself ready to pray, lead a Bible study, and preach (at the time I had only signed up to pray though). At the end of our meeting, he asked if anyone wanted to help lead worship. Kendall was the only one who raised her hand and it was clear that he was waiting for someone else so I said I could do it. Let me be very clear that I was enjoying singing songs in Swahili IN THE AUDIENCE and in no way thought I would actually be asked to lead worship - but God had different plans.

I was walking to Holiness week chapel on Wednesday May 22 and Farajah (wife to Pastor Shaun and in charge of worship ministries … also I am so sorry - I know I probably just spelled your name wrong) happened to walk past. I told her how powerful the worship set had been the previous day and she said “Shaun said you were going to come help us lead worship! Why haven’t you come by yet?” I agreed to come that day to practice for Thursday morning. At 4pm that day Kendall, Kori, and I found ourselves ready to sing. Practice itself was such a blessing - the last time I had been in a choral setting like that where everyone knew how to harmonize and do it well was when I was in show choir in high school. All of the songs we were singing the next day were in English and the harmony parts sounded beautiful. There had been 15 people there - the biggest number of students that had attended all week. As Kori and I left to go to the soccer pitch to play games that night, I told Kori that I wasn’t going to lead the next day. There were too many people, not enough mics, it was outside of my comfort zone, and I had already been blessed by the opportunity to sing in that setting - that was enough for me. Gracious sakes - it seemed like I had a million excuses to avoid THE moment that God was calling me into.

I showed up the next morning to chapel and I was SO certain that Farajah was going to let me off the hook that I hadn’t worn my “African Wear” which was the wardrobe theme of the day. As soon as I walked in the door, I ran into Linnah. Linnah is the first ANU student I got the privilege of meeting. She is beautiful, funny, a talented singer, and has a kind and gentle spirit that draws others to her. I asked her where Farajah was and explained that I was going to sit this one out. She immediately reassured me that the team wanted me up there with them, I had enough time to go change, and that I just HAD to sing that morning. Thank God for Linnah. Tally and I ran back to the flats, I changed clothes, and by the time I got back the team was on stage singing a few songs before chapel got started - but the songs were in Swahili. Kendall motioned for me to come on stage and I walked up and stood between Kori and Comfort. Comfort seems quiet, but she uses her voice loudly to praise the Lord. She lives up to her name (as you’ll soon find out) and she is as beautiful as she is compassionate. As I jumbled over the Swahili words, I kept telling Kori that I was terrified, it wasn’t my thing, and that I was just gonna go sit down - but Kori kept encouraging me to stay up there. Kori and I stood there 50% singing, 50% standing, 110% trying not to look foolish - but it was comforting because we did it together. As chapel started, all of the harmony parts came back into my brain. Even though I didn’t have a mic (thank the Lord honestly), I had a lot of fun and the Lord granted me peace as we led worship that morning.

When the worship set was over, I went and sat down with the team next to Linnah as we got ready to hear the message Pastor Shaun was brining that day - a message about death. Over the course of the week he had been speaking out of Genesis 1-3: creation, the fall, and redemption. Shaun said that there are three stages to death: the first stage where you are separated from the spirit (sin), the second stage where you are physically separated from the presence on God (being expelled from the garden of Eden), and the third stage which is the physical death that we know. When Jesus died on the cross, He resurrected us and gave us life through Him for those first two stages of death and that makes the third stage a lot less scary.

The sermon ended and the worship team gathered to pray together. The prayer team (which I had also been apart of that week) was gathering with some of the adult religion faculty at the altar and crying out to God. The spirit of the Lord was flooding into that place. I grabbed hands with Kori and with Bianca. Bianca is an amazing singer. She’s also beautiful, incredibly feisty, sassy in the best and funniest ways, and outgoing. When the prayer ended Bianca didn’t let go of my hand - she had started to cry. My heart broke for her and I started to cry too. Comfort came over and sat with Bianca and when she let go of my hand I sat down in a chair nearby where Linnah joined me. I took it all in - Bianca and Comfort together, the religious leaders of the campus crying out in prayer fervently to God, and all of a sudden it hit me - I wasn’t crying for Bianca or because I had empathy for those whose hearts were saddened in that room. I was crying because the message from Pastor Shaun had answered a prayer that I had been praying for 6 months. Back in December of 2018 God told me that it was time to transition into a new season of my life where I would have to practice patience and come to terms with the fact that there were some things that I cannot control that I had to surrender to God. I have 3 terminally ill family members but the deepest burden on my heart is my mom. Mom is a walking miracle. She had a brain tumor when she was 12. Doctors told her she would never have kids because of the radiation she had received but she prayed like Hannah in 1 Samuel and God gave her a child. She was diagnosed with Stage 4 Breast Cancer when I was 9 and underwent chemo, countless surgeries, and radiation. She’s a survivor but you don’t just survive cancer - it always comes back to haunt you years later. Last summer we found out she had radiation neuropathy - which is terminal. The same radiation that had saved her life twice is now slowly shutting down her nervous system. I won’t tell you all of the details but last July she could walk with a cane and now she can hardly walk to the kitchen without help or her walker. This past semester as I entered into this new season, I was faced with an overwhelming feeling of apathy and decided to go to counseling to talk through it. I was trying to prepare myself for her death - which will not be soon, but still lurks. The semester was very successful and my counselor and I both agreed that I was ready to handle my emotions by myself as we entered into the summer season. I was not expecting God to answer my prayer and ‘make me whole’ this quickly but sure enough my answer to prayer was right there in Pastor Shaun’s message: Jesus saved us and gave us life in the first two stages so the third isn’t that scary. I don’t have to be afraid of death for any of my family or friends who know the Lord because his blood has saved us for eternity. I dislike being one of those people who goes on a mission trip and finds their answer to prayer, but at the same time I am so thankful that God knew. God knew that I needed to be away from the situation for a little bit to clear my head and he knew that I needed to be in a mindset where I was waiting for him to move - no expectations, remember? God knew that I would have just skipped along to tea with the ANU chancellor if I wouldn’t have been forced to stop, pray, and reflect that day. He knew that leading worship scares the crap out of me but that death scared me too. He sent Linnah, Farajah, Kori, Comfort, Shaun, Kendall, and Bianca into my life to help guide me to that moment. He knew I would stay with Bianca and he knew I just needed a few more seconds soaking in the message to understand what he was trying to speak to me.

Thank you God. Thank you Comfort for being so comforting. Thank you Linnah for praying for me and crying with me. Thank you Bianca for sharing what God was speaking to your heart and letting me in on that conversation. Thank you Pastor Shaun for speaking life into my doubts. Thank you Farajah for seeing the need in my heart and calling me out of my comfort zone. Praise God. Amen.