Puerto Rico Part 2: Stars

If you've already read part 1, looked at the title, or follow me on social media, you probably know that I recently returned with my family to the place where my mom was born, Puerto Rico. Mom has a friend, Orlando, who happens to own a nice speed boat (he's also won competitions around the island when it comes to the fastest boat so that's cool!). Every time we go down, a drive to the southern town of Salinas is always on the to-do list to see Orlando. My parents, Titi Alba, my younger cousin Barbara, and I all packed up and drove down to Salinas and loaded up the boat. Orlando took us out to a clump of mangrove trees that was shallow where boaters like to go and camp out on sunny days. There were about twenty boats on the day that we went. (Side note: we tied our boat up next to one of the boats belonging to a friend of Orlando's who told me that I was so white that I blinded him). We spent the day looking for shells, eating snacks, swimming around, and relaxing in the water. At about 5 we left for a restaurant that waited for us a little bit further down the coast. While we were at the restaurant, Barbara and I spotted this beautiful sunset falling into place. We went out and snapped some pictures and just stood watching it. As the sun sank lower, Orlando and my family walked toward us saying they were ready to jump back in the boat and head back. Personally, I was a little intimidated by the idea of Orlando driving back as dusk turned into night (especially after how many beers I'd seen him down that day... don't worry though, it was a safe number I think). The boat had two lights to indicate to other boat drivers that we were in fact a boat... a very fast-moving boat, but there was no big spotlight to see what was directly in front of us and I had no idea how he knew where he was going. But I stretched my arm out over the edge of the boat, a practice that I often replicate while driving down the road on those days that I want to feel weightless. As the boat bounced over waves, I felt like I was flying. Then I looked up and saw a sight that took my breath away - dozens of stars twinkling down at me. I kept my eyes glued on the sky until we got back to the dock. At one point, I turned around and was in awe at the collection that had been forming behind me. Behind me was every star I had seen. Above me were a few more to add to the collection. However, in front of me, there were almost no stars as they were covered up by dust in the air... but as we got closer to this empty void, I saw even more stars. It brought me to the realization that is similar, but slightly different from the conclusion I found in part 1. I could look at the past, everything that had come before that moment. It was beautiful and some stars shone brighter than others. The stars directly above me in the present were not as numerous or as brilliant looking as the display behind me, but I knew they would only add to my experience later. The stars in my future were unclear... it was dark and intimidating and I didn't like focusing on it. When it boils down to relating to life, you can always look back and see all the good and bad that has come before and see the beautiful picture that is your life. You can look at your unknown future, knowing it will be even more magnificent than your past, but it's scary to focus on and should not be focused on 24/7 unless you want to be driven mad by that void. Lots of us, especially speaking for myself, find ourselves in a place that we don't necessarily like. It's not as beautiful as the past. It's hard and life might just suck. I want to focus on the future or the past to escape the present. However, none of my efforts will change the reality. The stars above me are going to add to my collection of stories and I just have to deal with the hardships right now and wait patiently to see what kind of beauty and good that God will bring out of it. But no matter how bright a certain star shines, each is important and adds to the breath-taking beauty that I will see one day when I look back at my life… beauty that you could see when you look back at yours.

Puerto Rico Part 1: Swept Away

I recently took a trip to the island where my mother was born and raised: Puerto Rico. During our time on the island, mom decided that it would be fun to stay in a resort. We drove from Bayamon, an area on the north-east side of the island where my mom grew up (it's near San Juan), to the west side of the island to a town called Rincon (There should be accents on this and Bayamon, but I don't really know Spanish that well. Sorry :)). The group consisted of my parents, my little cousin Barbara, my "Titi" (aunt) Alba, and myself. We ate incredible food, went snorkeling off the coast, visited a local crafts fair, and watched a sunset by a lighthouse. It was all amazing, but my favorite part was just walking by the ocean at our resort. This was mom's least favorite part because her balance is not the best and she would almost fall every time the wave retreated and the sand moved from beneath her feet. But here is this ocean, relentlessly beating up against this beach. Every time I looked down, I saw sand particles that may never be all together at one time ever again. Each wave hit my legs and feet and was so powerful that it could have knocked ME over. The ocean reminds me of what life is like. Everyday things are changing... the past will never fully repeat itself. Trying to hold on to the past is useless because the waves of life, just like the waves of the ocean, will pull that sand right out of your hand or right out from under your feet. You can't worry about the future either because there are billions upon billions of other sand particles out there and it's pointless to try to guess which particles will hit your feet at the same time. The only thing we have any power over is the present - relaxing in the wave that hits you in that moment and saying goodbye as it pulls the old sand away, promising to come back soon with new sand. The wave is God's love and I'm sure that most of you reading this have heard this analogy used before. God's love is strong, powerful, and relentless. No matter how you hard you try to fight it, to tell that wave to stay in the ocean and away from you, it won't listen. God's love gets you soaked sometimes, if the wave is big enough. Sometimes it takes a little more than a splash to wake us up to what he's trying to say... and he will always deliver that wave to you. Finally, God is always orchestrating our little details, our little grains of sand. He gives and he takes away. What he takes away, you cannot hold onto... and why would you want to? Why would you want to hold onto the old when he has something gloriously new ready to give you? Let go of the worries of the past and future and let God walk with you down the beach, crashing his love over you in the present.